Friday, 9 July 2010

`friday july 9th 19.30pm

Finally finished my chemo shots this morning. Hoo-bloody-ray! Now I am confined to my box room (it really is) for another 10 days or so. I am keeping all bits of me crossed that I don’t get infection. So far so good. Just need the neutrophils to gather force; and some good bone marrow wouldn’t go amiss either. Luekaemic free. I have been watching blue sky all day. And a big red crane – close enough to my window that I can see the shape of the operator inside. Thanks to all for the emails, sorry but cant respond to any, as my “sending” facility seems to have packed up on me. So can only receive. But very welcome they all are. Luigi has now taken to using my camera and photographing his journeys around Borough Market, plus giving me photo updates on the garden and the studio. This is all great, and gives me a colourful glimpse of the outside world. He now seems to be feeding Lilly fresh chicken everyday. That cat is going to be such a nightmare when I get home. Never has there been one so spoilt. Discovered that Paracetamol made me feel oh so much better this afternoon – my mallet / glue feeling passed off for a bit and I could laugh. I am haunted by nightmares – which is not much fun and wake up shouting and pushing things off me. Last night it was witches and monsters coming through the wall. Foof! I wonder what is going on in my psyci. Spelling not improved either. A domani. Ciao Ciao tutti. Baci.

3 comments:

  1. Tessa, what a difficult time, keep hanging in there it's obvious you were good and strong and that's helping you now, all infections need to p off or else!
    I understand how difficult it must be cooped up but you are most certainly not alone we are all thinking about you and it's so good to read your news after a quiet couple of days.

    Loads of love L and family...got Martha back!

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  2. Tess, You may be experiencing intensive care syndrome, which is relatively common for people in longer-stay hospital situations. It's now becoming more recognized, and you may be able to speak to a counselor about it if you feel like it's enough of a problem. Having said that, just knowing what it is, and that you're not losing your mind, may be enough to calm things somewhat. It mainly strikes after longer stays, in isolation, without a daily routine to steady you, and especially if your sleep is broken, which I imagine yours might be.

    All the best to you. I'm cooking dinner right now. My inlaws are here in CLE, and they're off at various wine shops with Marc. I begged off to have some time on my own, and to get dinner started. We're off to an art fair tomorrow, and then who knows what afterward. They don't leave until Monday!!

    Much love. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (Hugs and kisses of the virtual, germ-free variety.)

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  3. Those dreams sound horrible but leukemic free sounds good! Sorry I haven't been in to say hi yet, was a bit worried you wouldn't be up to it but now B has been in I will try and get over there on Monday - will text first.

    Hope you're not too hot there. Seems as if Lilly is really living it up, definitely won't want to look at cat food again.

    Love from Jan x

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